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Introducing the Society To Ultimately Prevent Induhvidual Destruction |
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If society's job is to protect induhviduals from themselves, we need to do more. Therefore I hereby announce the start of a new and improved group to pick up the slack that other safety lobbyists (Clean Air For Everyone, Helmet Laws, Water Councils, etc.) are leaving behind. This new society will be called the Society To Ultimately Prevent Induhvidual Destruction. We will work to ban everything that is not safe for you. That's right, no more driving (42,643 died last year alone), no more Oreos (that creamy filling is horrendously bad for you), and no more sitting in front of computers (there has been one confirmed casualty from sitting in front of a PC for too long). Flame broiled Whoppers contain six known carcinogens, and food grilled in your back yard barbeque contains up to 14 so kiss the days of poisoning your neighbor goodbye.
Let's all band together and take back our freedom! Let none deny us the right to liberty and happiness! Say NO when someone tries to make your choices for you! Join me and be a STUPID representative today!
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